Pregnancy After Loss
Losing a baby can affect how parents view being pregnant again, making it difficult to see it as a joyful time. Being pregnant again after a loss can stir up intense emotions, like anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and a renewed sense of grief. It's important to remember that it's okay not to feel okay, and to ask for extra support when you need it. Here are a few tips.
Balancing Grief & Joy During A Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy after a loss presents a unique emotional challenge, intertwining hope for the future and sadness over the past, which can change the way someone approaches the next pregnancy. A moment of happiness like hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time may quickly be followed by a wave of anxiety. Anxiety is a very common and normal feeling during a subsequent pregnancy. However, a moment of sadness or grief might bring feelings of guilt because you think you “should” feel happy and grateful. Grieving isn’t linear so it’s okay to mourn a previous loss while celebrating and feeling happy for the life growing inside of you. What matters most is allowing yourself to feel any emotions- without judgment.
Tips On How To Cope With Pregnancy After A Miscarriage
1. Mantras
Mantras can be helpful because they provide comfort, a sense of hope during times of loss, and can be grounding for some. Some good mantras are “remember this pregnancy is different” or “I’m strong, I will survive whatever happens in the pregnancy.”
Repeating affirmations helps center your emotions, quiets the mind, and fosters resilience.
2. Self Validation
Pregnancy after loss is difficult, so don’t blame yourself. All of the emotions you feel are normal should be validated. Give yourself permission to grieve the dreams and hopes you had for this pregnancy.
3. Have A Supportive Medical Team
Ensure you have an OB/GYN, Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor, or medical team that feels supportive, listens to your concerns and validates your feelings. A good provider will give you space to express your emotions, answer your questions with compassion, and provide a solid plan to monitor you throughout your pregnancy. A supportive medical team can also help meet your needs as you may be considered high risk due to your previous pregnancy and require extra monitoring.
4. Get Support
Getting mental health support after pregnancy loss is important for emotional healing and overall well-being. It can help you process your grief and find connections. We offer a Healing After TFMR course you can take at your own pace or work with a Certified TFMR Specialist™.
Celebrate Small Milestones
It’s okay to slowly celebrate this new pregnancy. Whether you wait until the second trimester before sharing the news or preparing the nursery, it’s important to celebrate at your own pace. Even if you have some fears throughout, finding small ways to celebrate like journaling or buying a few baby items can be helpful to try. Joy can coexist with grief, and you aren’t betraying your previous loss by celebrating this new life.
It’s important to remember that a baby after loss isn’t a replacement for their sibling who came before, however, they’re a new joy coming into your life.
